Are you the caregiver for a loved one with a disabling condition? Is it the result of a condition such as multiple sclerosis or as a result of an injury during lifetime? As Connecticut attorneys, we know just how challenging it can be to ensure that your loved one is protected on a daily basis. When you compound these lifetime caregiving needs by starting to contemplate a future that may not include you, we understand if you are concerned not only about your loved one’s future, but your future, as well.
We would like to begin by putting your mind at ease. We obviously may not personally understand what you are going through, because every person’s situation is unique, but we do know and understand the law surrounding how you may protect yourself and your family. There are planning opportunities to ensure that your loved one with a disabling condition will be as supported as he or she can be.
As a caregiver, one of the most challenging aspects of witnessing a loved one struggle with a disabling condition may be the sadness, confusion, anger and/or silence an individual experiences and exhibits in different ways. We would like to share five tips that may help you plan for your loved one, and yourself.
1. Even under the best of circumstances, it can be hard to be a caregiver. Remember, what you are witnessing may be the symptoms of his or her illness. There may be nothing you can do to change him or her, nor should you expect the behavior to change, but you can be there to comfort him or her and keep him or her safe within the disease process.
2. Do not leave things to chance, or memory and do not go it alone! You have many things going on. Always make sure there is a detailed record of what you do, and do not do, for your loved one. From prescriptions to allergies to doctors to care needs, keep a record of everything. Therefore, when you need support and reach out, others will have access to the notes and information you have kept, making any transition seamless.
3. Always keep things simple. When a person is experiencing a disability many situations, both new and old, can often be overwhelming. At the same time as the caregiver, it is natural to want to jump in and try to explain in an effort to help. Instead, breaking things down into the simplest of tasks may be the best support you can offer.
4. You and your loved one should have a routine. Having a routine can help your loved one feel safe. For example, having a morning routine, regular meal times and a daily walk are suggestions of ways to provide structure for your loved one. Assist them in remembering a routine by creating a written schedule that can hang on the wall or setting timers. Also as part of your routine, whenever you need to introduce a new situation, medical device or health professional you should have a discussion or conversation with the goal of retaining the dignity of your loved one. Never present new situations or medical devices in a paternalistic or demeaning way.
5. Most importantly, get the legal planning you need to accomplish your goals. The law helping those with a disabling condition is complicated. You need an experienced Connecticut elder law attorney on your side. In addition to creating the estate planning you need for both your lifetime, and the future of your loved one, you also need to have the guidance of a Connecticut elder law attorney who can let you know what actions could potentially remove access to both state and federal benefits from your loved one.
We understand that caring for another person can be a challenging experience. We want you to know that everyday may not be perfect, but that is okay and you should treat yourself with the same kindness that you would treat your disabled loved one. The fact that you are with your loved one and caring for your loved one can be the greatest source of support and comfort you can provide.
We know this blog may raise more questions than it answers. We want you not to wait to learn more about this critical issue facing all of us, but most importantly Connecticut seniors. Remember, being prepared is the best defense you can have in place. The Northeast Law Center practices law in many Connecticut counties including Hartford, New London, Tolland and Windham. We encourage you to contact us and schedule a meeting.